Let's just say I am no expert on this matter but remain observant and understanding in all areas of people activity. And this is a controversial topic so please know this is one man's opinion, feel free to develop your own in agreement or rebuttal to my presentation. Sexuality as a young male was always about women and rejection of all things gay, gay things of course never being anywhere in sight and being frowned upon. In that sense, NYers had me beat. Hell, New York City in my house was known as Sodom and Gomorrah.
"Bitch ass faggot!"
"Suck my dick, bitch!"
"Gay ass bastid!"
"You sound gay!"
"You can tell he gay by the way he walkin!"
"She's a carpet muncher"
"Homosexuality is an abomination that causes desolation!"
"Sodom & Gomorrah was destroyed because of homosexuality!"
"If the whole world were gay the human race would go extinct."
The above statements many hear today on the streets or in churches or homes, but all of these ignorant utterances I have often heard growing up, some I have said myself thinking words never hurt, only sticks and stones. These extremely harsh words represent social conditioning, a reflection of a myopic understanding of homosexuality for all of my childhood and early adult life. I have never thumped a Bible against anyone or anything, and neither did Jesus but I digress (Amen!). Yet and still in my mind it was wrong, unnatural and my young male mind was convinced it was not manly. Today it's no big deal to me, although I still cannot engage in sexual conversations explicitly gay in nature. But this is not an interest of mine. I do not agree with homosexuality as a lifestyle or behavior FOR ME. I distinctly recall being attracted to my first grade teacher Ms. Whitaker (my early Miss Parker for my Cube and Chris Tucker fans of FRIDAY) and my mother found naked pictures of women in my room at age 12. My disagreement with homosexuality has no impact on how I view gay people. It only impacts me and my preferences. I cannot comprehend disagreeing with what someone else wants to do, so long as I am not directly impacted in vulgar and/or negative ways. But as with all readers, my views have roots.
For seven years before college I attended a conservative all boys private day school...which just so happened to be set in a wealthy and very white area of Maryland. Kids there called me gay in jest because I refused to join them in communal showers after the first several football practices, at age 12. I replied in jest that maybe they were gay for wanting me there. I do not recall knowing an openly gay student, but plenty were bullied or teased as is sadly typical among kids. And "gay" was hurled when boys were not "tough".
In my all black neighborhood in PG County, MD there was talk of about one or two guys who people thought were "flamin", and I can recall only one that was open about her liking girls as a high school student. She played basketball with us fellas at times. In my community "fag" or "bitch" or "gay" were also thrown at any male viewed as weak, or scared or who lacked courage. Homosexuality was frowned upon, disrespected and rejected as it was if the subject came up on the news in my house. It was not popular back then, unless people hid it. I didn't even have cable until college so access to shows or programs or movies or anything covering homosexuality was nil. At home, in my neighborhood and at school, homosexuality was seen as "sweet, soft, weak" for the most part and never a topic of discussion, unless recklessly insulting someone. I had no family members who were gay that I knew or heard of, but when Rock Hudson died of AIDS in 1985 we associated the disease with homosexuals. I was not even in high school then. And in late 1991 Magic Johnson announced his newly discovered HIV status and we saw the disease could not only touch the openly gay community, but also the outwardly heterosexual.
Enter college just a few years later. I was not as intimately involved in the college research process. My basketball coach, who also wore the college counselor hat, followed my advice to find a great small school, with a high percentage of minorities...similar to my school but just much darker. I was maybe one of four black students in my high school class of 60. Hell, any college would have been just fine. I was hard pressed to study in a coed environment as I hadn't studied alongside the opposite sex since elementary school. So I researched a little, but never visited the university. I knew it was considered a small ivy league institution and one of the most diverse in the nation. I needed some spice in my academic life so I chose "diversity university" and was shocked at Orientation.
They had us watching "The Crying Game", a movie I had never heard of before college orientation, that day when I almost lost my mind during the scene where a man and woman are passionately kissing in her home, their first intimate moment. She leaves the bathroom and approaches the bed where he reclines. He kisses her and politely asks her if he could undress her and she agrees. He kisses her right shoulder as they face each other. His clothes are still on, they embrace and he starts removing her nightgown as the camera angle shifts to his back facing us. His head lowers and the woman now faces the camera revealing a man's chest and the next thing you know, after the guy falls back on the bed in shock, the woman stands there with a limp penis just chillin. Her first response after he was clearly taken aback was, "I thought you knew!" He vomited in the bathroom, pushes her and ran away. The rest of the movie deals with a love they eventually rekindle i think. But that scene threw me off guard so I likely did not pay much attention to the rest. The take home lesson was meant to be love should conquer all no matter what, but at that age I was just ready to go play basketball, chess or pick up a 40oz to shake off what I had watched and relax before classes started.
I would not be surprised if I had yelled, "WHOOOOAAAA!!!""" in the middle of the screening. Maybe I laughed it off as well but immediately the thought was implanted in all the students' heads: WHAT WOULD YOU DO? We even discussed it and of course my first reply was "I would whip that ass". Or maybe I would blame myself for not knowing. This flick was set in Europe, but I had not really warmed up to understanding homosexuality at that point, let alone the okie doke - being surprised in the heat of the moment the person is a transvestite! Thankfully, that flick was not an omen of anything I've since experienced in my life and hope I never will.
But during school is where I began to think some people chose to experiment with their sexuality and were not born gay. People would admit doing very gay things at school "just because" or on a a dare, or while drunk...but then they revert to their straight lives on school breaks. Maybe they all were bisexuals? One day these labels will vanish. There were elements to the school that seemed to me during those first few months a haven for sexual experimentation; students would kiss each other at certain parties, then switch and kiss another friend of the same gender. So i avoided certain parties at certain places just limited parties to the reggae and hip hop joints and occasional frat keg parties.
Upon further research, after the first month of courses there, I noticed the school was known to embrace LGBT community, and that there were several schools like it. I had no idea what I was in store for socially, but I recall recurring instances involving chalk on sidewalks that irked me. The night before Parents' weekends, many students would take chalk and scribble adult homosexually charged messages on sidewalks that would greet all the parents in the morning. This practice has since been banned by the University, however. Specifically, the president stated in 2002,
''There was not a bright line that was crossed,'' Mr. B said, talking about his decision in his office. ''What happened was an accumulation of these expressions that were increasingly aggressive and violent sexually and that continued to include pointed and in some cases racial references.''
Some of the messages were:
"Fuck your own gender!"
"Question your sexuality! Join the Queer Alliance!"
"Same sex Rules!"
"Boys should love Boys"
And they were indeed more vulgar than I would bother to type.
This experience led me to see homosexuality for some as a game, an experiment, fashion statement, something to do when you're drunk or high with a good friend and not be called bad names, and not necessarily something all are "born with". And then you learn about famous gay people, like James Baldwin and you see the struggles, in the form of death, harassment, abuse many go through worldwide simply because people dislike the gay presence and gay behavior. So many are afraid to come out, but tolerance and acceptance in the States is at an all time high, which arguably is not saying much in comparison to other developed nations who have had gay marriage on the books for awhile. Despite gains, there is an entire culture of men, "down low bros", who above ground date and have sex and marry and impregnate women, but on the down low, the D.L., they seek same sex for recreation reminiscent of the Greek days, when men would get naked to train together and compete.
The word gymnasium is the latinisation of the Greek noun γυμνάσιον (gymnasion), "gymnastic school", in pl. "bodily exercises" and generally "school"[2] which in turn is derived from the common Greek adjective γυμνός (gymnos) meaning "naked",[3] by way of the related verb γυμνάζω (gymnazo), whose meaning is "to train naked", "train in gymnastic exercise", generally "to train, to exercise"
Today, in many states of America it is now legal for those identifying as homosexuals to marry and enjoy the rights as would a married man and woman. President Obama has fought long and hard to rid the military of "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy and repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act. These were historic moments and will be a main pillar in his presidential legacy, much to the chagrin of raging conservative Christian right, right? Right. Ironic that most scandals involving elected officials and unknown homosexuality were among Republicans, the most outspoken advocates against it.
The ugliest side of all sex is when power is used to dictate another's introduction into or sovereignty over his or her own sexuality. Molestation happens too often, as does date rape, rape on military bases, stranger rape, etc. During slavery little girls, but also little black boys were "pimped" out to salivating savages. Rape of women and men happened on the plantation often with intent to render black men docile and defeated, black families constantly vulnerable to attack or separation. For centuries black sexuality and reproduction were manipulated and experimented with, as it remained within the purview and control of masters of slavery to do as they saw fit, to degrade a people and profit off their labor.
Many of these masters were married. They chose homosexuality as a tool to oppress black male slaves, especially the strong ones. Reminds me of Abu Ghraib scenes where male sex abuse was used as weapon to defile and degrade Muslim prisoners.
This brings us to my final answer on sexuality in general and I overstand now the idea of a sexuality continuum, considering how complicated human sexuality is. On one end you have the epitome of heterosexuality, and the other you have the sweetest taboo...epitome of homosexuality. And consider the varying degrees between the two. People can be oriented at any point on the continuum, to move along that continuum, or some may be strictly oriented to the opposite sex, for example. Some may be willing to do gay things but not have a gay lifestyle, yet still think it's not homosexuality. DJ Mr. Cee, one who swears he is not gay, has admitted he prefers oral sex from men in the trans community. Sadly, the only reason we heard this 'final answer' is because he's been caught in NYC by undercover agents getting these blowjobs from transvestites on more than three occasions and rumored to have been about that life for decades. I am glad he is now living his truth.
But maybe that's his thing. Was he born that way? Some argue all gay people must have been born gay, otherwise they would never choose to be gay and go through all the vitriol and potential violence accompanying them at every turn. I say just
See Loving v Virgina. When you claim you love someone, especially yourself, I imagine that the last thing on your mind is what anyone thinks about it, unless life/limb is threatened in that moment of course. IN fact, most who come out after having known they were gay forever say their biggest mistake was not keeping it real with themselves, being overly concerned about others' judgments. My citing that U.S. Supreme Court case legalizing marriage between black and white people is not my acceptance of comparing the gay struggle to race equally, but only to demonstrate how love and following your bliss must conquer all no matter what.
Love who you love just don't deny yourself the full essence of who you are. Do not lie. Know yourself. Do not mislead anyone especially fiances, as was seen in NBA star Jason Collins, who came out to the world on television leaving his lady since college and now ex-fiance shocked to no end. Her book will be out soon I'm sure. Nobody respects a fraud. This subject gets heated on social media so just be a closer friend of UNDERSTANDING and so long as people are not being vulgar and are in no way attracting children to any vulgarity whatsoever, I say we should understand both sides, remain respectful and stay in our respective lanes.
For the record, on the strength of this pic alone I am not in support of CHOZEN, a cartoon on FX about a gay white rapper released from prison, who seeks to take aim at the misogyny in hip hop, a new world view that was shaped by his time in prison. I will pass on this one.
